scooterboy.ca

"put your hand down your pants right now and rub. tell me you don't come up with a few pubes."

--mike a

see kieron.

see kieron sit.

see kieron break the desk.

laugh, kieron, laugh.

De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Mixaloti equitis

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)

amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
en! quam exstant! nonne piget te earum?
(Lo! How they stand forth! Do they not disgust you?)
ecce mulier Aethiops!
(Behold the black woman!)

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
(Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
(For who, colleagues, would not admit,)
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
(Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
(Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius
(So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)
clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse
(Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)
a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.
(Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)
o dominola mea, volo tecum congredi
(My dear lady, I want to come together with you)
pingereque picturam tui.
(And make a picture of you.)
familiares mei me monebant
(My companions were trying to warn me)
sed clunes istae libidinem in me concitant.
(But those buttocks of yours arouse lust in me.)
o! cutis rugosa glabraque! (*2)
(O skin wrinkled and smooth!)
dixistine te in meum vehiculum intrare velle?
(Did you say you wish to enter my vehicle?)
in arbitrio tuo totus veni
(I am entirely at your disposal)
quia non es mediocris adsecula.
(Because you are not an average hanger-on.)
vidi illam saltantem.(*3)
(I have seen her dancing.)
obliviscere igitur blanditiarum! (*3a)
(Forget, therefore, about blandishments!)
tantus sudor! tantus umor!
(Such sweat! Such moisture!)
vehor quasi in curru quadrigarum! (*4)
(I am borne along as if by a four-horse chariot!)
taedet me in diurnis legendi
(I am tired of reading in the gazettes)
planas clunes gratiores iudicari.
(That flat buttocks are judged more pleasing.)
rogate quoslibet Aethiopes: responsum erit
(Ask any black men you wish: the answer will be)
se libentius expletiores (*5) anteponere.
(Rather that they prefer fuller ones.)
o consortes (quid est?) o consortes (quid est?)
(O colleagues [What is it?] O colleagues [What is it?])
habent amicae vestrae magnas clunes? (certe habent!)
(Do your girlfriends have large buttocks? [They certainly have!])
hortamini igitur ut eas quatiant (ut quatiant!)
(Encourage them therefore to shake them! [To shake them!])
ut quatiant! (ut quatiant!)
(To shake them! [To shake them!)
ut quatiant illas clunes sanas!
(To shake those healthy buttocks!)
domina mea exstat a tergo! (*6)
(My mistress stands out behind!)

You can search all you want for the girl of your dreams – you can brave the dungeon of vulnerability, avoid the fireballs of embarrassment and dodge the dragon of apocalyptic, life-shattering rejection – but seven times out of eight your only reward will be a midget in a vest saying, “Sorry, your princess is in another castle.”

death cab for cutie was AWESOME. I can't say it any more clearly than that.

now i need someone to come to beulah on tuesday.

how sad is it when i have to censor content on this thing?

it's fucking ridiculous.

perhaps if you had a life of your own...

i want to see the dance hall crashers...but they're probably not even a band anymore...and i'm too lazy to find out if they are...but man they rock...

and i want to buy another vespa in the spring so i can go to shows and be cooler...and be all "ahn ahn" and beep people out of the way so i can park on the sidewalk....'cept i'm not sure if that goes over as well here as perth...oh well...

yes, you.

delicious.

I stole some pictures from kidwithcamera.com from thursday's show. his site was getting hit pretty hard, so really i'm HELPING you, kidwithcamera. don't get all pissy.

anyway, here they are:
the long winters
nada surf
death cab for cutie

beulah on tuesday was great. thanks to katie, andy, and the others for letting me stand near you to try to be cooler. i just wish i hadn't had to run away in the middle of the encore to catch the stupid bus. The worst part is that I got to union with 20 minutes to spare...oh well...i'll know next time...

and skating on the island yesterday was great and WAY less cold than it realistically should have been...with the water...and the no tall buildings...it's just too bad you need to sellout and make millions of dollars before you can live there...*sigh*...

so b&s are coming up...so long as SOMEbody remembers to get tickets....but i'm sure SOMEbody will...because sarah knows how imp -er, SOMEbody knows how important it is...

but first there's ween, which should be a good time, too...

i wish i could afford my habit.